The Great Indian Wedding

Recently I attended the wedding of one my closest relative and this gave me a chance to do two things, 

1) To get a bird's eye of the view of the wedding extravaganza. 

2) To get some ideas for writing a blog. 

**Shopping** 

The first taste, we got off the charged up wedding atmosphere was when we found ourselves in a shopping spree. This shopping was unlike any other shopping that we have done. There was a clear cut agenda about  the time and when we will wear the dresses. Importance was given to the price and the embellishments. After the hunt in three shops, we finally made our selection. In fact, the shopping spree never ended with the first day. It continued for five days. I realized the importance of colors and patterns and did a learn few things about color sync. We were also part of the so called mega shopping schedule of the bride and bridegroom. The location was a famous jewelry shop in the town and some souls were engaged in the act of making the right choices and giving fabulous opinions about the chosen jewelry item. The shopping sessions went on until the shops closed for the day. 

**The Church**

The church and its spiritual operatives were seen as necessary evils. The priests and his coterie were there to bring in the so called 'holiness factor'. The level of involvement and participation was limited but timely. The whole mechanism ran on the size of cash deposit made at the church counter and how well you are aligned with the church committee. This decided the amount of spirituality that will be showered upon. I felt that the simple and elegant prayers said by the elderly members of the family was much more soothing and meaningful. The church also had its own rules and regulations when it came to conduct of the wedding service. The priest had the same attitude of a teacher who enjoyed the act of admonishing  his students for late arrival and the improper behavior inside the church. 

**The Wedding Planners**

The wedding is an event for the elders in the family to take the main role and perform the duties without being asked. The main participants took up their position much ahead of the main event and started the work of coordinating and organizing. The final outcome that the public sees at the end is a result of all these planning and co-ordination. I was able to have a detached look at the events and make some significant remarks about this team work. There was a dedicated transport manager, an entertainment manager (who brought in fire crackers) there was a health and safety inspector (he took precautions to prevent a forest fire), who doubled as the official to herald the wedding events. We also had the finance department, team which looked into the settlements of bills. All these different departments worked like a well oiled machine so that two individuals could start their life as one. 

**Church mediated dating**

Earlier the bride and the bride groom were seen as two individuals. In this technology driven era they start exchanging messages and calls once the families agree upon the wedding date and other details. They also attend the pre-marital counseling session together. This gives them a chance to be together and get to know each other (not that they have a choice to chance to make a diffrent choice). This is a healthy practice and I feel that the church should mediate and take the lead to find common slots for the two parties involved to make the real decision regarding their life. This will save many marriages from hitting rock bottom. 

**United we stood**

The great Indian family is always united but there are deeply entrenched factors that play a part in a family get-together like this. Wedding becomes a venure for some to snub others for their short comings. There are cases when some are frowned upon by the so called masters of the universe. To illustrate this point there was a family who had totally shunned their son and his family. The issues as usual were related to money. The wedding was an occasion for the family to just get on with their lives. I don't think that the two parties ever met during the gala event. They seemed to have buried their hatchet and went about with a forced smile on their faces as if nothing is wrong with their families.  

It is a Christian family, but the members are from different parts of the state. Some of them belonged to a particular sub sect of the Christianity and there are others who are from the same sect but from different corners of the state. These sub groups always try to assert themselves in a wedding. Each one trying to bring in their ritualistic practices. I could sense there was some friction in terms of the rituals and it is not the first time that I was a witness to  this. Anyway,the issues were settled quite amicably and the event was not marred by these petty squabbles. 

**The Lumeiere's & the Jomon T John's**

The real heroes of a wedding are the bridegroom and the bride. They are just the official version of the story, but the ones who really control the scene are the motley crowd of photographers. Right from day one, the wedding planning is based on their arrival and departure. They kind of do an act of appropriation of the groom and whisks him away to some exotic location and starts clicking away in glory. The techniques, angles and the shots are time tested and the army of shutter bugs move about with such an alacrity that there is always a group of people standing around the camera crew with their mouth wide open. It was interesting to see how the job of a photographer is made easier by technology. 

**Meeting Point** 

The wedding event is a great time for people to meet, especially the ones who are Non-Resident Indians. Many relatives came up to me and quizzed me about their whereabouts. I was careful not to divulge the real feelings that I had within me didn't give a straightaanswer. I took a diplomatic stand and sought the help of my partner who is endowed with a razor sharp memory. It is a strange feeling to meet people for the first time after so many years. The people flowed in incessantly and there was never ending queue of cars and buses which were used to ferry people from one location to another. Weddings are the only occasion for some house wives and retired individuals to be active. They delve themselves into the duties and responsibilities associated with a wedding and make themselves the custodians of the eve. t.The gathered population is also keen on inspecting the home and the immediate environment of the bride and the bridegroom and starts the work of free publicity laced with the usual ingredients of gossip. 

The Indian wedding is indeed a colorful affair and the nature of the wedding and the rituals will vary from rich to poor, religion to religion,and from South to North.The spirit remains the same.