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| https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o11D0ApuBTo
Thurber is unique among major literary figures for his drawings, cartoons, short stories and fables. Many of his stories are humorous memories from his life but he also wrote on darker subjects like madness and murder. Among his classics that everyone must read, are ‘The Secret Life of Walter Mitty’ and ‘The greatest Man in the World.’ Thurber celebrated the comic frustrations and eccentricities of ordinary people. Both of his parents greatly influenced his work, but the stronger influence was of his mother, whom, Thurber describes as a “born comedian.” Thurber wrote over seventy-five fables
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The Fable: ‘The Last Clock: A Fable for the Time, Such as it is, of Man.’
The central characters of the fable are ogres. Ogres are imaginary beings, usually depicted as large, ugly, humanoid monsters. They are also portrayed as having large heads and being very hairy. They may be scary or lovable. In the Hollywood series, Shrek 1, 2, 3 and 4, the ogres are truly charming and endearing - we are drawn to watch more and more of their saga. If you haven’t seen even one of these movies, then, perhaps, this is the time for you to watch Shrek 1. In an unspecified time, frame, and in an unknown location, an ogre was very sick. He had become ill by eating clocks. His ogress had to break down the locked door of his castle and she noted with dismay that the room was littered with fragments of clock-parts - there were dials, oily coils, springs, broken hands and bits of pendulums. The ogre couldn’t speak clearly as too much oil from the clocks had turned all his ‘t’s to ‘l’s. “Wulsa Malla”, he managed to get out to his ogress but what he meant was ‘What’s the matter?” The ogress had brought in a doctor to check him out. But the doctor was shocked at what he saw and said that he felt the case was out of his area. When the ogre struck three o’clock, he wanted to run from there. He suggested that the ogress call in a clock man but then changed his mind, on hearing the ogres slurred speech. He felt maybe a semanticist, or a dictionist or a syntax man, a specialist with words, would solve the problem. Of course, Thurber is making fun of the way doctors pass the buck, not wanting to admit that they sometimes have no idea what’s going on with a patient. The ogress takes his advice and brings in a man with a huge toolbox the next day, thinking he’s a clockman. But he soon admits that he is a Clogman and not a clockman - his job is to unclog drains and pipes that are blocked. He was determined not to step out of his area of expertise and try to help the beleaguered ogre. The ogress brings in a general practitioner, who says he can only help generals, an Inspirationlist who advised them to ignore the problem and was certain if they did, it would go away. “The final experience should not be mummum,” When the ogress asked him what ‘mummum’ was, he mumbled that it was what the final experience should not be! And fell asleep on their couch. The ogress seemed satisfied with this answer. Thurber is referring to all the self-styled gurus and life-coaches and the advice they give people in trouble - although it often makes little sense, it seems to make them happy. The condition of the ogre worsened as he ate all the clocks in the town – from small alarm clocks to mantel-piece clocks, and grandfather clocks to tower clocks, he finished them all. In between, he swallowed little watches as if he were adding salt and pepper to the clocks! Soon this situation began to affect the town: people had no way to tell the time. So they over-slept, they did not go to work, or church, or school. Factories and shops had to close down, trains stopped running, and people had to just stay at home.
The crisis goes to court: When the Town Council held an Emergency Meeting, members came at all different times, some did not show up at all, for they had no idea when to come. Finally, the case came to court for trial. The charge against the accused, in this case, the ogre, was clock-eating. A psychronologist was called to the witness stand. One can only assume that this is some kind of a
cross between a psychologist and a chronologist. But he refuses to argue his case, stating that he has no scientific data, and as such, concludes that if there is no evidence then the clock-eating could not have really occurred. Again, one can feel Thurber’s barbs at the scientific community
that lays many stores by proofs. They deny the reality in its face. At the Town Council Meeting, the Mayor, who came late, called a clockonomist to the stand. We can guess that a clockonomist is some kind of an economist who studies the economy in relation to clocks. The clockonomist spoke on the clockonomic crisis and explained that this is the opposite of a glut of clocks, as a consumer had consumed all the clocks. Under normal circumstances, this would push up the price of the remaining clocks, but as there were no clocks left, there was also no clockonomist left to deal with the situation. The clockonomist suggested that they transfer the subject to another town where clocks still existed and with that, he left the room. Next, a clockosopher also threw up his hands in despair. Although he was mainly concerned with clocks as a concept, this meeting was regarding clocks as objects. He felt helpless and also left. The court had subpoenaed all the clockmakers holding them completely responsible for the crisis. As the ones who had made the clocks, they had literally created the problem. The clockmakers decided it was time to change their profession. The Lord Mayor expressed his dilemma: he would like to deport the ogre. However, as the ogre now contained so many clocks, he had become a container of clocks. He would, therefore, have to be exported, and not deported. But the law of the land required that all clocks be exported in regulation containers. And the ogre’s body fell out of that legal definition!
What was he to do? Three weeks after the ogre had consumed the last clock, he fell very ill. The Chief Diagnostician ruled quite conclusively: “The trouble is that we don’t know what the trouble is.” As there was no precedent of anyone eating clocks, they could not be sure if the ogre had clockitis, clockosis, clockoma or clocktheria. Or it could even be a minor problem like clocking cough, ticking pox, or clumps. Teams would now have to research the subject so they could come to some conclusion. The town Council was concerned that the ogre might even die. The Chief diagnostician assured everyone that if he did, then the ogre would be buried. The case was then shifted to the Supreme Prosecutor. Housewives objected saying they could not boil 3-minute eggs. And many people blamed the political party in power, but there wasn’t any as the Ogre was the party in power. As they were getting nowhere, they decided to call for a Summit Conference with no agenda so that they could impress those who do get impressed with such events. Someone suggested they use sundials, but the problem was that sundials work only when the sun shines. At such times, no one really cared what time it was. At about this time, the sound of a clock ticking was heard. Soon, it even struck the hour. There was great excitement, as the Supreme Magistrate suggested that it be installed in the Tower and life could return to normal. But doubt was raised. What if the ogre ate this clock as well? Just then, they found out that the ogre had died. Soon a collector took the stand. He insisted that as this was the last clock, it must be installed in the museum. Further, he claimed, as all the items in a museum do not function, this clock should not be wound but allowed to run down and stop. The next day, at 9 minutes to 12, the clock ran down and was installed with a proper ceremony in the museum. Soon, life in the town came to a stand-still. As factories and schools shut down, trains stopped running, the town got buried by the sands of a desert. Symbolically it was also the end of mankind as only Thurber could have imagined it: Mankind bringing about its own destruction through such utter foolishness. Many aeons later, a spaceship from Venus landed on Earth. It held the descendants of people from Earth who had gone there long ago and intermarried with Venusians. A man and a woman explorer found the last clock, but they had no idea what purpose it might have served the ancient people of this planet. So, they labelled it: “Antique mechanism. Function uncertain.” And they took it back to Venus the author says, with “other mysterious relics of the Time of Man on Earth.”
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